The Bachelor Jackass

I admit it. I watch reality shows. Can't get enough of them. Even the Jackass "dating shows" like The Bachelor; though I prefer the talent competitions like American Idol or America's Got Talent. The Bachelor is a "Jackass reality show" because they feature Jackasses on the show. Like this Brad bloke. Of course his name is Brad. Biff, Buff, Bart, Bob whatever as long as it's one syllable and has a 'B' in it right? I can see why the producers selected him. He has the classic movie star looks, Greek physique and a complete oblivion to anything remotely resembling abstract thought or autonomy of thinking. He says exactly what you think he'll say at every moment and juncture of the show. What a Jackass! Of course perhaps I'm just jealous of his situation. To be featured as the only male among a bevy of beauties all competing for your attention, affection, acceptance, etc. Truth be told; as stunning as the women are on that show, they mostly have a semblance of commonness to me. All except Emily who is my favorite. She's an interesting lady. I'd marry her at the drop of a hat; not that she would marry me! On the other hand Michelle is a pathetically competitive, manipulative, insecure horror of a woman. This Jackass Brad tells each and every one of them on the individual dates, that he feels a "special" connection with them or some such hogwash and then eliminates them in order. How can anyone seriously think that you can obtain a wife in this manor. By going on a reality show. Still I wouldn't mind be in the Jackasses' shoes; for just one moment and have all the hotties competing for my attention. Fat chance of that! Maybe I should go on the Bachelorette? Lets see I'm 48, 5'8", round belly (not flat) weak hair, weak chin, bad teeth. Ya! I'm sure I'd just zoom right through to the finals on that. Anyway all jealousy and hubris aside. As far as this Brad goes. In the end he'll probably overlook Emily and choose Michelle. What a Jackass!

Porcupine Smith