The 2011 "A Cat and Me" Awards

I asked my dog Fred if he'd like to watch the Academy Awards tonight. Being a dog he thought I said "A Cat and Me Awards". Now he's not speaking to me and he unplugged the TV.

As far as the awards go. I'm for James Franco in '127 Hours'. and Colin Firth can kiss my Thespian ass. I like 'The Social Network' and '127 Hours'. I don't favor 'The King's Speech' or 'The Fighter'. Little Marky Mark Wahlberg is another one who can kiss my "movie going ass". I hope Black Swan gets something because Natalie Portman worked her ass off (literally) for that portrayal and I just like Portman to begin with. Jeff Bridges in 'True Grit', for all the "Cine-noir" the brought to that film, it's still a "been there done that" type of film which also goes for 'The Kids Are All Right' which in terms of a movie might be called 'The Kids Are All Wrong'. Bruce Willis said he favored 'The Kids Are All Right' which confirms my disdain for the film. Ya, like his "Die Hard" franchise, '12 Monkeys' and Armageddon qualifies him as a pundit in "The Art of Film Making". Face it, in terms of 'The Art of Film Making" you can't beat the proverbial wolf chewing off his own paw for the sake of his posterity. Especially when it's a "true friggin story". Any films I didn't mention here probably don't matter. I'm Porcupine Smith

Blog depression

I'm depressed because I love to write but the I also love for people to read that which I've written. I don't really know how to direct more people here; I've tried search engines for blogs and other types of networking but to no avail. So... I'm depressed and while I may have a plethora of profundity coursing through my mind at any given moment, just waiting to be poured out on paper; what's the point if no one or only a very few people read. Anyway I'm depressed about it and there's not a damn thing I can do! Some A-hole like Perez Hilton can create a blog and get millions of readers to his dubious content; I just don't get that?

Blog, blog, bloggity blog

You know I built a website some time ago http://www.porcupinesmith.com/ and never really knew how to generate much traffic to it. Now I have this blog which I feel has more timely, apropos, entertaining and provocative content but I still don't know how to get any traffic to it. It's kind of like writing in a vacuum. I mean I could write the greatest poems, humor, essays, philosophy or I could write the most cantankerous crap and no one would know!!! I'm bummed; truth be told and just lamenting anguish here. Because I know there's a ton of blogs that are really crappy but they get major hits because there juxtaposed in search engines and high traffic websites. I'm just bummed today, I'm really bummed. Not that any one will care because I'm pretty sure no one will know because I'm pretty sure no one reads this blog! So be it! thus it is written thus it is done. 

Jeopardy, Watson, Computers and Life...

So it was interesting; the big "virtual Jeopardy player" experiment. I kind of knew the computer would win; cuz... the computer is not really playing. It has a little help from the engineers that programmed it. Hence my current view here. People (so called pundits) keep talking about all the great things this new advanced technology will bring us. They cite examples in medical science, social services, business, banking and so on. What a bunch of Jackasses! It's an amusing tool that's all and an amusing tool is not going to bring more "well being" to society. Who are these Jackasses that think this. Do they not have any education in history whatsoever. Can they not see the "big picture". Technology does not bring well being, health and happiness. Mankind has had more chaos, dysfunction and grief, since the advent of technology than all the previous millenniums that came before. I enjoy my car and having a car but I also enjoy walking and if given the choice between having a car or being able to walk; it's no contest, it's a "no brainer". I enjoy writing this online blog but I also enjoy reading library books and writing long hand with a pencil or pen and if giving the choice between online text documents or books; what do you think I would choose. Man's technology cannot cure cancer but a lot of exercise and a pure diet free from toxic elements can preclude the majority of cancers. I like having modern utilities in my house but yet I think the best years of my life were probably when I lived in a "waterless" cabin with only a wood burning stove and had to chop fire wood and get my own water. I like having a cell phone and emailing people but more and more I would just prefer to meet people in person and talk to them face to face. I don't use commercial air travel because I refuse to put my dog Fred in the cargo section of a plane so I just drive an old car everywhere and I see a lot of damn interesting things on the highways and bi ways as I go about and I still get there soon enough; hey! it's faster than a horse and buggy! Granted an old car is still "technology" but it's less technology than a supersonic jet. My ultimate point of course is that there's nothing wrong with a little technology but at this point; at this juncture in history I really believe that less is more. People who think that technology will solve societies' ills are sorely mistaken and misled. Unfortunately; that represents the majority of people. People are diving headlong into the delusion of technological bliss and comfort level oblivion. So be it. I guess even I could be partly guilty of this myself but at least I'm not diving in headlong but rather; considering, contemplating and testing the waters first.

Porcupine Smith

Dylan, Lady Gaga & The Grammys

Rare TV appearance by Dylan and even more rare; him without a guitar. Guess his vocals were just so crisp and clean he didn't need the guitar. Anyway it's always good to see Dylan in any form. I love Dylan but not his best performance or my favorite song of his.

Despite the "world wide phenomena" I call "Gaga-ism" I don't like Lady Gaga. She claims that she specializes in the "art of being famous". To me that's kind of like saying that her song writing can't stand on it's own without all the incessant publicity stunts. I don't think it can since I don't like one song. I mean I wouldn't turn it up if I heard it on the radio; that's the litmus test for me, for a song being really great; when it comes on the radio I crank it up. "But they're not stunts, that's really the way I am" says Gaga. Ya and I'm sure you don the "meat dress" for an evening on the town all the time, since debuting it at your last "awards photo-op fiasco". She seems to have it in her mind that's she's this Avant-garde "ground breaking" artist like the world has never seen before. Couldn't be farther from the truth. C'mon, like Madonna, Cher, Cindy Lauper, Alice Cooper, KISS, Ozzy Osborn, The Tubes (San Francisco band of the 70's) and The Doors, among others; didn't do theatrics involving a lot of over the top costumes, sexuality, excessive makeup and fake blood. She claims to be a "performance artist" and believe me! She is! Just another way of saying that her musical product (recordings) cannot stand on their own without all the hype and regalia. She supposedly is an inspiration for those who struggle with "fitting in" Sort of a "Lone Ranger" hero to those who don't add up to the "status quo" the "beautiful people" ; so to speak. Ya I'm sure all those inner city kids or other outcasts who are getting bullied can really relate to someone that pulls in an estimated hundred mill a year and I'm sure she hangs out with them every chance she gets! Give me a break Gaga. Take your money and your fame and enjoy it and quit trying to be Mother Teresa because I'm guessing that the world will embrace "Gaga-ism" for maybe a decade at most, then you'll become a vintage T-shirt at best. Unlike those who really know how to write songs like Dylan, Carly Simon, Carol King, Neil Diamond, Natalie Merchant, Neil Young, Tori Amos, Pearl Jam, REM, The Rolling Stones, The Band, Jose Feliciano, Hendrix, Joplin, The Doors, Jim Croce, Tracy Chapman, The Supremes, The Carpenters, The Who, The Moody Blues, Alanis Morrisette. Just to name a few "REAL RECORDING ARTISTS" whos' music will stand the test of time.

Porcupine Smith

Sex, Murder, Lesbians, Midget Firefighters and a Ponzi Scheme

OK now that I got your attention! I want people to read and follow my blog. There are millions of blogs on the Internet these days and people with unlimited money can get their blog juxtaposed in high ranking search engines by paying a lot of money. I however have no such luxury. The free blog search sights don't do a hill of beans. I'm trying to direct people here to read my short daily entries because once I get going (have a reader base) then I can really build upon that. Why read "my blog" when there are millions of other things to read on the web every day. Because; simply put, my writing comes from a unique perspective developed over years, not found anywhere else. Notwithstanding I know it's not a good thing to "blow ones' own horn" You never get very far in life doing that. So other than saying what I've already said above, I'm not going to continue to tell you how great I am! You just have to read the short essays and come to that conclusion on your own (hehe). OK so I just started this thing and you can read my 4 posts thus far; in lieu of this shameless "self promotion" but mind you! I do have a piece I will enter here shortly which does involve Sex, Murder, Lesbians, Midget Firefighters and a Ponzi Scheme. So you might want to keep abreast of my blog or you may miss out on such things.

Sincerely Porcupine Smith

I LUVS me some RTV (pop culture ranting poem)

Blog Blog Bloggity Blog - Charlie Sheen is really a HOG - Lindsay Lohan is really a THIEF - gone are the days of Brian Keith (Family Affair). So much for this doggerel ditty - Lady Gaga, is not that pretty - but she sings better than P. Diddy - What the hell is "Hello Kitty" Who the hell is "SpongeBob SquarePants" WHO? watches "So You Think You Can Dance". Personally I prefer AI and AGT - If you don't know what the acronyms stand for - no biggie! - It just means that maybe you have a life - outside of TV - but that's not ME - that's not me! How I LUVS me some RTV (reality TV) - Unreal though it may be - How I LUVS my RTV

OK so I have no paramount issues of social importance to write about today; then again "paramount issues of social importance" are OVERRATED.

Blog Blog Bloggity Blog...

{Porcupine Blog readers, please read my previous blogs and follow my blog, A tree that falls in the forest makes no noise and a blog unread is; Well... a blog unread}

Porcupine Smith

The Bachelor Jackass

I admit it. I watch reality shows. Can't get enough of them. Even the Jackass "dating shows" like The Bachelor; though I prefer the talent competitions like American Idol or America's Got Talent. The Bachelor is a "Jackass reality show" because they feature Jackasses on the show. Like this Brad bloke. Of course his name is Brad. Biff, Buff, Bart, Bob whatever as long as it's one syllable and has a 'B' in it right? I can see why the producers selected him. He has the classic movie star looks, Greek physique and a complete oblivion to anything remotely resembling abstract thought or autonomy of thinking. He says exactly what you think he'll say at every moment and juncture of the show. What a Jackass! Of course perhaps I'm just jealous of his situation. To be featured as the only male among a bevy of beauties all competing for your attention, affection, acceptance, etc. Truth be told; as stunning as the women are on that show, they mostly have a semblance of commonness to me. All except Emily who is my favorite. She's an interesting lady. I'd marry her at the drop of a hat; not that she would marry me! On the other hand Michelle is a pathetically competitive, manipulative, insecure horror of a woman. This Jackass Brad tells each and every one of them on the individual dates, that he feels a "special" connection with them or some such hogwash and then eliminates them in order. How can anyone seriously think that you can obtain a wife in this manor. By going on a reality show. Still I wouldn't mind be in the Jackasses' shoes; for just one moment and have all the hotties competing for my attention. Fat chance of that! Maybe I should go on the Bachelorette? Lets see I'm 48, 5'8", round belly (not flat) weak hair, weak chin, bad teeth. Ya! I'm sure I'd just zoom right through to the finals on that. Anyway all jealousy and hubris aside. As far as this Brad goes. In the end he'll probably overlook Emily and choose Michelle. What a Jackass!

Porcupine Smith

Super Bowl

I have to say; the commercials and the game this year were not the most exciting. The game was actually OK (not as good as last year) but the commercials really sucked. There just wasn't one that was really funny or compelling. Eminem is old news. Justin Bieber is not news worthy; Ozzy & The Osborns were OK (I like them) The Doritos "finger sucking" add was repulsive and makes me want to consume LESS Doritos; not that I'm a big Dorito eater anyway. I didn't really get the Darth Fader "Volkswagon add" that was the big news. Personally I don't care if the kid who was in the DF suit has had some challenges (born with a congenital heart defect) so do we all to some extent! I mean I feel empathy for him but they could have put anyone in that suit and the commercial would still have been mundane! It just didn't work for me; I didn't even know it was an add for Volkswagon until I heard it recapped on the morning shows. The Pug dog was OK; just because it was a Pug but the commercial still lacked creativity. The Kim Kardashian  (sex add) was kind of "been there done that" Nothing we haven't seen in the Victoria's Secret commercials. I'm not a big Black Eyed Peas fan so the Halftime show wasn't all that great to me. The best thing about the Super Bowl was probably Christina Aguilera screwing up the National Anthem; You can't beat the reality of incompetance; especially when it comes in the package of Christina Aguilera; I like her! As far as the game; it was decent but not really a "nail biter". I'm glad the Packers won.

Porcupine Smith

New 'Porcupine Smith' Blog

I'm Porcupine Smith. I'm a poet/comedian/philosopher. I've written, published and performed many things I've written over the years including poems in the hard copy magazine 'Adventures For the Average Woman' (an Ideagems.com publication, various essays and poems 2004-09) and Zeteticon (NAU Philosophy magazine, 2 poems 2007) as well as dozen of essays and articles in Op Ed columns (various daily newspapers - AZ CA) and of course a vast multitude of Internet posts (poems, essays, articles, jokes) I also had my own radio show 'The Porcupine Smith Show (talk show) during my last year at Northern Arizona University where I graduated from in 08. I've started this blog because I want to establish a central venue for my readers and fans. I hope to soon have a regular reader base for this blog. I will try to post daily but of course I have a life "not on the Internet" so it may not always be the case; of course that will also depend on the readership I am able to garner. There's about a ZILLION blogs on the Internet these days and I can assure you mine will be different because I am different. I've always had a different perspective on things and that has never been in dispute. Please click the link to follow my blog here.

Sincerely Porcupine Smith